Please Don't Tap The Glass

A week ago I caught a cold. You know the kind... one of those run-of-the-mill, common colds, that are so irritating you just want to die. The hacking cough, mucus snorting , sore throat inducing, sleepless night dealing kind of illness that they haven't found a cure for yet. I did the only thing you can do when you catch the "common cold", I treated the symptoms. I took three days off work to rest. I drank buckets of tea, bought two different types of cough drops, cold medicine and vitamins. I slept... a lot. And finally, after a week, I started to feel better... until yesterday.

Yesterday I was feeling so good that I was planning on going swimming on the weekend. I was pumped that I was starting to feel like my old, healthy self again and I was looking forward to the time when I'd have energy to burn when I felt it... a pain. It started out dull at first and only when I swallowed, but as the day grew long, the pain in my throat got worse until it felt like my throat was going to close up on me. I couldn't swallow and I was having trouble breathing.

At first I was scared and then, after I had thought about it for a while, I got angry. How the fuck did I get sick again so fast! These sore throat symptoms are different then the ones I had during the "common cold" I had just endured. What the hell had I caught now! I was so angry I almost cried. For a brief moment, literally only a 24 hour span of time, I had felt like I was getting better and now this! I have always had the worst luck when it comes to viruses. I always manage to catch whatever everyone else has in, at least, a 100 mile radius of wherever I happen to be. Clearly, my immune system has never been the best, but I have been trying really hard lately to remedy that. I've been taking a multivitamin, vitamin C supplements and even tried switching my yogurt to the one with the live bio cultures to see if I could help my body fend off disease. But due to this recent sore throat development I feel that my efforts are in vain.

I've had enough! Drastic times call for drastic measures, so I have decided it is time to take my preventative measures to the extreme! After this sore throat has run its course I will never have a cold again! How, you ask? Well, I'm just going to live in a box. A really nice, bullet proof glass box that will be fitted over my head to protect me from catching nasty, little germs. I was inspired by the masks doctors wear, and that you now sometimes see people wearing in the subway. These masks protect your nose and mouth from breathing in contagious germs, but they neglect to protect the eyes and ears. That's when I thought of the box. A nice glass box would protect your whole head from germs, much more effective then just a flimsy mask. I was running this idea past my friend Mel when I thought that maybe walking around with a glass box on my head would garner some attention, possibly unwanted attention. I thought of people coming up to me on the subway and asking about the box, maybe even touching the box... it wasn't a pleasant thought. So, I have devised a sign to place on the lower right hand corner of the glass box. It will say "please don't tap the glass". Original, no?

The Sweetest Surprise

My boyfriend is not the romantic type. He doesn't like holidays, he doesn't like buying cards and he's only ever given me flowers once. But the other day he gave me a surprise that made me swoon.

Before he left for school he told me that he had a surprise for me and that I would get it when he got home. Of course, being the insanely curious person I am, surprises drive me nuts. I spent most of the day trying to figure out what he was getting me. He had left me with only one clue: it was a three part surprise. Three parts! There are a zillion things out there that have three parts! I didn't quite guess a zillion things, but some of my guesses included: a cheese burger (buns, meat and cheese), a fruit salad (strawberries, mango and filler fruit) and a book (beginning, middle and end). So many guesses and all of them wrong.

When my boyfriend, Scott, finally got home he presented me with my surprise which was: a bouquet of fair trade roses, a love letter and a gift certificate for the Great American Back Rub. Now, all these things may seem random by themselves, but joined together and knowing me, they are the most thoughtful gifts any one has ever given me.

You should know I'm a hippie at heart. I'm always lecturing Scott about ways in which we can improve our environment and society by loving the earth and each other. So, when he gave me the roses he told me that he had chosen them specifically because they were fair trade flowers and that he knew that would mean something to me, which it did. He wanted to show me that he cared about things I was passionate about and that all my lecturing had a "little" bit of influence over him.

Secondly, he gave me the gift certificate for a back rub. You should know, that along with being a hippie, I am also a hard worker and have gained a bad back from past work experience. Scott gives me a back rub every day to help me relax and put me to sleep. The gift of a professional back rub was him showing me that he understood what my body needs and that he cares about my physical well being.

Thirdly, he wrote me a love letter explaining his gifts. His letter said that he chose a random day on the calendar that wasn't associated with a holiday or a mile stone in our relationship for a reason. He wanted to show how much he loved me by giving these meaningful gifts on a day when I'd know that they were just coming from him and him alone. That they weren't influenced by a commercial holiday or an anniversary, they were just influenced by his love and appreciation for me. He wanted to say "I love you" without a Hallmark holiday getting in the way of the gifts true meaning.

This last gesture made the most impression on me. It got me thinking about holidays, like Valentines Day, which is just around the corner. Why do we make such a big deal about telling people that we love them or that they are special on very specific days? Shouldn't we put more emphasis on those small daily gifts, like giving someone a back rub, or making someone dinner, on all the regular days of the year, instead of the big hoopla we surround holidays with? This all reminded me of when Alice in Wonderland celebrates her un-birthday! Maybe we need more un-birthday's and un-holidays in our day to day. Scott's random, surprise message of love made me think about not waiting for Valentine's Day to tell my friends and family how much I love them! It made me think about not waiting for Christmas to spend quality time with my extended family! And maybe, him getting me to think about all this, is the greatest gift of all.

If you're reading this and it's a random day, if it's not a mile stone in our relationship or a holiday, I want you to know I love you. I appreciate you and all you do. Thanks for being out there! Yours truly, Amanda Jerome xoxo.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus or How I Realized How Much I Miss Heath Ledger

I saw the Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus the other day, Heath Ledger's last film. I didn't think it would effect me.

I was so wrong.

I went into this movie expecting to see a beautiful and imaginative film, which it was. I went in expecting to be a little sad about seeing the late Heath Ledger on the big screen for the last time, which I was. But I didn't expect to still feel melancholy a whole 24 hours after the movie was finished, which I am. Today, I sat at my desk trying to work and all I felt was distracted and irritated. My coworkers noticed and asked me how my weekend was. I told them I had a great weekend, but I always ended with "I saw the Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, it was a beautiful film, but it made me sad." After repeating this sentence at least 12 times I finally clued into what was wrong with me: I miss Heath Ledger.

I, like many others, was shocked and disappointed by his death. We weren't expecting such a young and promising talent to die so soon. I remember my roommate telling me the sad news of Ledger's passing, and I not believing her, I thought it was some sort of mistake. I was not a die hard Ledger fan, so I couldn't explain why his death made me so sad. I guess, at the time, it was because he was the first young hollywood star, who I admired, who had died. I respected his talent, loved his charm and was taken in by his adorable smile.

Seeing The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus brought Ledger back alive to me for a brief moment. There he was, on the big screen, acting like he had never left. He was charming, he was pretty and he portrayed his character brilliantly. I enjoyed watching him so much that I was sad when the movie ended. But the fact that I'm still sad a whole day after the movie has ended proves to me that I miss seeing Heath Ledger in movies more then I'd care to admit.

Hollywood has been watered down over the years. Rarely does an actor come along that truly inspires the imagination. I believe Heath Ledger was one of those rare people and I hope that one day someone will be able to fill his shoes and breath life into so many of the great characters we see on screen.

... When Suddenly They Broke into Song.

I just came home from a party where I had a "in the movies" experience.

The party started out typically, everyone was just chilling, clinking drinks and talking about the random stuff that can only be brought up when you converse with strangers at a mutual friend's house, when IT happened. Someone was acting as a DJ with the Youtube clips when they came across a song.... a song I had never heard of before, but apparently every boy in the room had. When Wonder Boy by Tenacious D came on every man in the room burst into song! It was like something straight out of a musical! They all knew the words and sang, miraculously, in tune. There was air guitars being played and dance moves invented! This was like Rent meets Jersey Boys and it was happening right in front of me in real time. No rehearsals. No scripts. Just pure male bonding over this apparent anthem.

After the song was over, the men dispersed and the singing ended, just as suddenly as it had started it stopped... but I wanted more! I sometimes wish that life were like a musical. That at a moments notice we could all burst into song, knowing the words and dancing in proper formation... that's what pretty much happened tonight with the playing of Wonder Boy. Looks like my wish for a real life musical came true! I hope it happens at the next party.

I have the soul of a penny pinching old lady!

I went out for lunch today. I also went out and saw a movie. Then I bought four boxes of granola bars. It has been an awesome day! Why? Because my lunch was free! My movie was free! And the granola bars were on sale!

Nothing makes me happier then saving a buck.

I make enough money to support my partner and I, so why is pinching every penny necessary? BECAUSE IT MAKES ME HAPPY! Happy to the point of ridiculousness. When I get coupons in the mail it's better then christmas. When I walk into a store and see sale signs posted on things my eyes light up and I practically skip down the aisle throwing stuff in my basket.

Today was an especially good day for saving money. My friend Ashley works in a restaurant and she pulled my business card (strategically placed there of course) out of a draw for a free lunch. The lunch was so big though that I had enough for dinner as well! My friend Mel works for a movie theater head office and she gets free passes, so she took me to see a film. Through friendly connections I had my meals and entertainment taken care of for the day. Thank you ladies!

On my way home from the movie theater I popped into Shoppers Drug Mart where, lo and behold, granola bars and bread were on sale for $1.99! GLEE! I giggled with mirth as I stocked up on Nature Valley bars... people were looking at me. I had one couple stare at me and then exchange "knowing" looks. I caught two women watching me as well, they laughed and whispered behind their hands. I didn't care that they were staring, although I was curious to know what they were saying about me. Even the cashier looked at me funny! You would think during this time of "recession" that people carrying armloads of granola bars and cheap bread would NOT be stared at, but congratulated for their thrifty efforts! I, however, was being judged and I could feel it. I wanted to turn to these people and say "you don't understand! I'm not poor! I make a good living...I just... I love getting a chance to save money! Is that so hard to understand?" I wanted to point out to them that I was wearing a three-hundred dollar coat, two-hundred dollar boots and an even more expensive brooch. I wanted to prove to them I was their equal and that saving money was something I took joy from. But as the cashier handed me my receipt and I noticed that I could redeem ten dollars in Shoppers points on my next visit all thoughts of judgement and proving myself vanished! Who cares what other people think? I've got ten dollars worth of Shoppers points weeeeee!

My name is Amanda Jerome and I like to save money!

Poetry Corner *snaps*

In my "Out of the Closet and On to the Floor" post I wrote about finding my book of poetry. I mused that I might put one of those poems on here one day. Today is that day... now please don't be to hard on me *stage whisper* I've never shared my poetry with anyone EVER before. Who knows, if those goes well, I might make Poetry Corner a One Woman Show staple.

Distracted

Thoughts of you pound through my head like the fists of a toddler having a tantrum.

They beat unrelentlessly against my better judgement, making me bleed common sense all over my desk.

I want to regain my focus, but I can not have it back until I forget the strength behind your eyes and the tenderness in your hands.

Out of the Closet and On to the Floor

I decided to organize my closet in an attempt to start the new year afresh, but I forgot that even though my closet is very small it holds many things... piles upon piles of things.

One hour, two cups of tea and four Electric Feel repeats later I sat on the floor surrounded by things I had not wanted to deal with in the past year. Because that, essentially, is what my closet is for. Things I don't want to see, read, touch and feel, I put away behind closed doors to deal with another day. Things that I love I keep out on shelves in my living room and cluttering the top of my heirloom dresser. This habit ends now.

In the process of clearing my closet I came across 24 bank statements and Master Card bills from 2007/2008 that I had never opened. Why? Because back then I knew I had no money and a growing debt, so why bother opening a letter from the bank telling me how sad my financial status had become.

I also sorted through three years of newspaper clippings. All of them had been shoved into a box. Why? Because I had written them when I thought I had a future as a newspaper woman and looking at them one year after graduating and still not having a cubical at the Globe and Mail to keep them in made me sad, so I had buried them away. Now they are neatly folded and stacked as they deserved to be kept.

I piled up clothes and broken elastic bands, little nick-knacks kept as keepsakes when the memories themselves should be enough to sustain me. I thew out a ticket stub from a concert I went to with a boy I liked. I chucked out pay stubs from the worthless job I had in the service industry which so frustrated me, but also introduced me to the love of my life. And all the time I wondered why do I always do this to myself? Fill my life with unimportant possessions hoping that one day they will come in handy, one day I will need them again. I realize I'm not the only one who does this. Maybe we all need to start over this year and clear out our closest; our physical and emotional ones. Get rid of the junk and free up some space for new experiences.

I did find one thing that I'm really happy about. A book of poems I had written. Why was it in the closet? Because whenever I get depressed I turn to poetry. I write down things in poems so they don't plague my dreams anymore. I'm happy I found this book in the closet because it made me realize that I haven't had to write in it for a long time. Finding it made me want to stop my useless hoarding habit and start a new habit; writing poetry whether I'm happy OR sad. Just writing it for poetry's sake.

Maybe one day I'll post a poem on here.