Worry Warts Anonymous

“Hi, my name is Amanda and I… am a worry wart!”

“Hi Amanda.”

“I had my last worry at 11:30 this morning. I started worrying when I was young, just a kid really. Back then I’d worry about never seeing my parents again after they left for work. I always had daymares that they would get killed in a car accident and never come home. Nowadays I worry about pretty much everything, even things that don’t technically exist. I blame three things for my worrying ways: 1) my over active imagination, 2) my (undiagnosed) separation anxiety from my family fostered in me as a child by two busy parents and 3) my mother’s extreme love for me giving her the tendency to worry which I then learned to copy. These three factors, mixed together, make a vicious cocktail of worry wart syndrome.”

“Testify!”

“I have suffered. Worrying is not fun, nor is it easy! It takes dedication and a good dosage of crazy to make a true worrier and I have dedication and crazy in spades! I have spent long, sleepless nights worrying about imaginary scenarios. I have broken out into hives over a worry that has started out small and then grown to consume me (like most of them do). I have tried many techniques to try and suppress my worrying: deep breathing, finding my happy place, mantras and alcohol! None of these worked. Why? Probably because my worry wart tendencies are so deeply rooted that they have become part of who I am. They are what makes me tick (sometimes twitch) and the only real thing I can do about it is to accept it! This morning I had a worry that got so big I started to sweat. My boyfriend was supposed to go pick up a painting that we had received as a gift from a friend. I called him to remind him of this fact, but every time I called his phone would say “we’re sorry, the person you are trying to reach is unavailable at this time.” My boyfriend never turns off his phone, so this was cause for concern. I tried texting him; nothing. I tried messaging him on Gtalk; nothing. I tried calling our friend to see if she’d seen him yet; nothing! This is when my over active imagination starts to wiggle. I imagined him getting mugged on the street and thrown in a gutter while the robbers made away with his phone. I pictured him going into a store to grab a drink on his way to the subway, when the store suddenly gets held up and he’s shot by a masked gunman! I also thought of train derailments, car accidents, gang warfare and abduction. Finally, boyfriend shows up on Gtalk and casually messages me a ‘good morning’… he’d been sleeping the entire time! The reason his phone wasn’t working was because it had disconnected randomly from the cell network(my phone does that too sometimes, damn Rogers). Sleeping in + disconnected phone = one frazzled Amanda. With apologies, soothing words and promises of pampering me during the weekend, boyfriend was able to get me to stop worrying. I then apologized for my spastic behaviour; he said it was okay and that he understands. Understands! That’s what I’ve needed from myself this entire time, some fucking understanding. Hi, my name is Amanda, I am a worry wart and I understand this. I accept it and am attempting to move on!”

*slow clap*