Friday, October 8, 2010

Aliens are stalking my parents

I woke up in a trailer park and before I can even get my morning coffee into me my mom tells me she saw a UFO.

“A UFO?” I mutter. “As in aliens?”

“Yes,” she exclaims. “As in aliens!”

Now my mother is kind of wonky (this is the woman who came to my father and I at the breakfast table one morning and claimed that there were eggs popping out of her head… we later figured out that it was the beads on the ends of the bristles on her hairbrush that were coming off and not eggs, as she had originally suspected.) but she has never gone on about aliens or UFOs. This was a first!

We had been at a family function the night before and I thought the “UFO” might be alcohol induced so I asked her to describe it. She told me in great detail the shape; oval with multiple sides, the colour; glowing orange, and the speed it was travelling at; a slow but steady hover. Also, my aunt and her neighbour were backing up the story. They all saw the same thing! I had to rule out drug induced hallucination because all of them weren’t drinking the same Kool-Aid.

My mom was so convinced that I started to believe her story to be true. Maybe she had seen something out of this world! Maybe… the aliens were trying to contact us?

“OMG!” I thought. “I’m totally going to introduce them to Gossip Girl. It’s like totally going to revolutionize their world!” (jokes).

It wasn’t until later, after I had told most of my interested friends that my mom had seen a UFO, that my cousin called to inform us that they had identified the U in UFO. Turns out the alien spacecraft was just a toy that you could buy at the local general store. It’s kind of like a Frisbee, but lighter, so that it hovers for longer periods of time. My mom and I laughed. Of course! Alcohol + flying toy ÷ trailer park = spaceship. It all makes perfect sense now.

I thought that was the end of aliens with my family. WRONG! The very next weekend we were all up at the cottage. The night was clear, the stars were bright, the bon fire was warm and the beer was cold. My mom and dad went to bed earlier then the rest of us so I don’t know how it happened, but the next morning my mom says “Amanda, your dad saw a UFO last night!”

“You’ve got to be kidding!” I said.

Apparently they weren’t. My mom and dad tell me that in the middle of the night, when my dad got up to take his nightly pee, he saw an object flying over the lake. It was bright, oval in shape and flew over the lake and off into the distance. This incident is yet to be explained *cue X Files theme song*.

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